Stuff Black People Like

March 3, 2008

#7 Basketball

Filed under: Uncategorized — ttboi @ 3:11 am

Now, I have nothing to knock basketball with. I love it and I’m a white male (like you couldn’t guess that). But shit, let’s go ahead and take a look at every american sport and you’ll see they’re dominated by all black males (we all know hockey was invented by canadians in an effort to invade american culture so we don’t count that). You have Barry Bonds in baseball, Tiger Woods in golf, Randy Moss in football. But here’s the problem with those guys, they’re still good at other sports. So what do you? You invent a sport that you have to be athletic AND genetically blessed with height to be able to play… THUS YOU HAVE BASKETBALL and Lebron James is just killing the game like how Ron Jeremy dominated 80s porn.
 

I still have this theory that if the early 90s bulls played the 80s Harlem globetrotters, it sure would be a close one. Two of the greatest teams in the history of the NBA. What do you mean the globetrotters aren’t a real team?
VS.

Now I understand there are some sports that blacks just don’t care to get in to and I really don’t blame them. I just wish the white race was a little quicker on the uptake. Announcement! NASCAR IS NOT A SPORT!

#6 Oversized Bottles

Filed under: Uncategorized — ttboi @ 2:41 am

I just don’t see the point. Buy a six pack, keep the other five in a refridgerator and keep them cold. Pull out one as needed.

…. and if you’re too broke to afford keeping your booze in the refridgerator, PUT DOWN THE FUCKING BOTTLE AND GET A JOB! That would be a good start.

#5 Watermelon

Filed under: Uncategorized — ttboi @ 2:32 am

Fuck…. Who doesn’t like Watermelon? It’s delicious.

#4 Oversized Wheels

Filed under: Uncategorized — ttboi @ 2:27 am

Ok. Who came up with this idea? Henry Ford is rolling over in his fuckin grave right now.

So here’s the equation….

Take old 80’s sedan or 70’s coupe which all ready brakes and turns horribly then add 26″ wheels and tires that have the width of rubberbands, then elevate it 2 feet to give it the necessary clearance to get that size wheel in to it’s wheelwell area. Go ahead and add a loud stereo so then you can neither move out of the way or have the forsight of hearing an emergency vehicle coming down the road. There’s really not much to say about these types of vehicles but if you think this looks cool, you need to go ahead and reevaluate your whole life.

#3 Fried Chicken

Filed under: Uncategorized — ttboi @ 2:15 am

I said god damn that’s some good shit… but really, white folks are a little more health conscious so we try not to eat this shit on a regular basis. Now I’ve heard of different takes on the recipe. Hell! I’ve even heard of them using fried chicken with pancake mix. Why just stop at lunch and dinner for fried chicken when you can have it for breakfast also!

Now, it’s not racism, it’s just smart business that almost every fried chicken joint is located in a black demographic area.

In a recent report by the national institute of diabetes, 79% of Black Females were considered “obese.” Fried chicken being the leading cause…

in response the national organization for the advancement of obese african american womens issued this interpretive dance reply:

#2 Pitbulls

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: — ttboi @ 1:16 am

Here’s a true story, I’m driving around south florida where I live and going through an afrocentric neighborhood. Up ahead of me is a young black child riding his bike in the middle of the street without much caution, over to his right there it is, he sees the ghetto unicorn!!!! The mythical Brendel pitbull, juiced up full of steroids and chained down by a chain that’s probably only used to tow broken down bulldozers. The kid completely ignores my honks and finally he snaps out of his pitbull induced daze enought to give me the middle finger for honking at him trying to save his life.

Now I don’t know what it is that has black people so intrigued and fascinated with these animals that they idolize them like Americans do the Bald Eagle or Japanese people do with Godzilla… but let me ask you a question you don’t have an answer for:

When was the last time you saw a black guy walking a golden retriever?

It just doesn’t happen. Now I see on the news that people are so shocked when an inner city child gets mauled by a crazed pitbull. It’s a horrible thing but you have these ghetto fucks who keep these animals penned up and treated like shit while they get them ready to fight in their next dog fight. These dogs are so aggresive and along comes the first kid walking by their back yard and “Boom!” next thing you know the dog is trying to eat the kid’s head and dry hump him at the same time. Crazy I know.

Here’s a picture of a pit that was rescued by an animal protection agency in Detroit, Michigan.

I have to tell you that I’m not too impressed with the people who get these pitbulls all juiced up and ready to fight? All it takes is some steroids, some dog food and have it drag around a 25 lb. weight… Who gives a shit!?! You’re not the first one to think up this idea… now take my 60 year old mother’s Bichon Frise and teach that little fucker to rip out another dog’s throat…. Then I’ll be impressed!

#1 Rap music

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: — ttboi @ 12:42 am

Now, forget the days of Fab Freddy, Sugar Hill Gang, Rakim, Tupac or any other inspirational modern poets.

Lets talk about the Ying Yang twins or Soulja Boy, to be more recent.
ying yang twinz

I listen to them and I have to ask “Did you catch any of that?” Holy shit. This is the inspiration for black youth in america…. we’ve fallen way off track from the dreams of Martin Luther King Jr.
Let’s go ahead take a look at some of Tupac Shakur’s lyrics:
Come on come on
I see no changes wake up in the morning and I ask myself
is life worth living should I blast myself?
I’m tired of bein’ poor & even worse I’m black
my stomach hurts so I’m lookin’ for a purse to snatch
Cops give a damn about a negro
pull the trigger kill a nigga he’s a hero
Give the crack to the kids who the hell cares
one less hungry mouth on the welfare
First ship ’em dope & let ’em deal the brothers
give ’em guns step back watch ’em kill each other
It’s time to fight back that’s what Huey said
2 shots in the dark now Huey’s dead
I got love for my brother but we can never go nowhere
unless we share with each other
We gotta start makin’ changes
learn to see me as a brother instead of 2 distant strangers
and that’s how it’s supposed to be
How can the Devil take a brother if he’s close to me?
I’d love to go back to when we played as kids
but things changed, and that’s the way it is

Tupac’s lyrics look like they’re trying to make an impact of social thought.

Let’s take a look at some of Soulja Boy’s lyrics… now keep in mind this is a 17 year old kid. Great role model for black youth across the nation.
Its time to do my dance, pullin up my pants, posted on the dance flo in my pimpin stance
it aint the same thang do my dance is a stinga, you gotta rock smoothly and pull ya trigga finga.
Im wild on da dance flo, yea i got fans, im doin poole palace and dey lookin at my hands,
Im bout to do my dance, but naww you cant stop that, i crank my dance up and then i let my glock cock back.

Is this even remotely english? I understand it doesn’t take much to be a rapper these days but FUCK. A little talent would be nice.

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